Are you one of those who think that some people feel like they are more charismatic, more entertaining and more fun to listen to than yourself? Let me rephrase it, have you thought “that is how I want to be” but feel like you lack the ability to? Let me start off by say that you already have the potential to be that person and do achieve great things. Maybe you need a little bit of guidance, we all do, and this is where I would like to share some of my thoughts on the subject.
Let me first just get something straight. This is not a get-rich-quick-scheme. Do not expect to become a (good) leader by just reading this. However, you should be able to start seeing changes around you if you apply this to your everyday life. This is meant as a hands-on 5-point guide to what I consider to be among the most important characteristics of inspirational individuals. There is much to learn, but only so much can be taught. Jump to the conclusion if you want a “too long; didn’t read”-version. However I hope you will be reading the sections.
Let’s begin!
“Here comes Johnny” – The shining
Inspirational individuals know about themselves and in order for you to be able to be such an individual you first need to know about yourself too. Simply put, you need to know what your strengths and weaknesses are. The reason for this is not so much how to inspire others, but to know what you are doing right and wrong. Yes, it is scary to hear about yourself and your weaknesses. But hey, if you think someone else does something wrong (from your point of view), can’t the opposite not be true too? You need to be open minded in order to obtain insight in yourself.
One of the best ways to learn about yourself is to ask friends and family, but do not expect too much negative criticism. We tend to be very positive in our feedback, sometimes to a fault. You could do some personality tests and learn something there. I am a big fan of tests because they usually tell you a thing or two which you “know of” know, but cant put into words. Here is a simple big-5 test. Try it out!
Realize your potential
This one is really powerful. Once you realize your potential, you cannot go back. One of the best things I’ve heard that motivates me over and over again is this quote by Les Brown;
“Imagine if you will, being on your death bed – And standing around your bed – the ghosts of the ideas, the dreams, the abilities, the talents given to you by life.
And that you for whatever reason, you never acted on those ideas, you never pursued that dream, you never used those talents, we never saw your leadership, you never used your voice, you never wrote that book.
And there they are standing around your bed looking at you with large angry eyes saying we came to you, and only you could have given us life! Now we must die with you forever.
The question is – if you die today what ideas, what dreams, what abilities, what talents, what gifts, would die with you?”
Now think about it and amaze yourself. Boost yourself by realizing all the things you already know!
Give the people something to remember you by
Now that you know who you are, you should start building your brand, the thing that makes you you so to speak. The reason for this is of course, all to often we do things exactly the same way, time and time again. Think about it, keynote presentations, CV’s, meetings, etc; nothing is more boring than seeing the same thing over and over again, in a world where time is a precious resource.
Give the people something to remember you by! Remember, you want to be seen, and in turn, inspire. Be goofy, be unpredictable (in a good way of course), and most of all, be authentic. Once you manage to be authentic in all situations, you will stand out and become inspirational with little effort. Oh, and don’t expect to get it right the first time around. This takes practice, and a lot of failures. But consider every moment an opportunity and you will succeed. Just put yourself out there and try to change something for the better, every day.
Consider this; What do you know Thomas Edison for (hint: something with light)? My guess is that you have not thought about all the 1000+ failed experiments before he actually got it right. Same goes for you. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! People will remember you for your success, not your failures!
“There is no spoon” – The Matrix
In the movie matrix, the protagonist Neo encounters a child that seems to be able to bend spoons by just thinking about it. In this clip, he says something interesting. “You just have to realize the truth. ….. There is no spoon”. A whole bunch of people will tell you that bending a spoon is impossible, that you can’t do it, and 72 other reasons why it is a waste of time and effort. Using the spoon as a metaphor for any particular problem, you quickly realize that the problem itself is not that you can’t do it, but that there are a whole lot of reasons why you fail before you even start to explore any possible solutions.
So, the one that is probably the hardest one to master is to realize the truth, there is no spoon. You need to reprogram your mind for success. “Don’t think you are, know you are” – Morpheus, the Matrix. You can do it, and you will succeed if you do not allow your thoughts or the thoughts of others to misguide you. How many times do you think Steve Jobs heard about impossibilities, or Kennedy when he presented the vision of going to the moon? Stop thinking about all the things that make your problem impossible, and start to think about them as skipping stones. Oh, and one more thing; start speaking of solutions, not of the problems. Don’t say you are broke, say you are overcoming a temporary monetary obstacle. This gives you an unconscious (ever so slightly) boost. Try it! It actually feels better to say the latter, then the first!
Shower yourself in gold
There is a saying, “speaking is silver, listening is gold”, translating into something like “it is good to speak, but better to listen”. However, what if what you are listening to does you harm?
So many times I’ve heard that my taste in music is making people cheerful. I got an epiphany one day and realized that everything I do when it comes to media consumption is primarily to make me cheerful, be it music, video, news and what not. Now, I watch a lot (a lot!) of movies and series. However, few of them are based on a real story. Why? Because if I want reality, I just step outside. Wouldn’t you rather dream? Dreams give you something to work towards whereas reality is just that, reality. Tough to change, and with a lot of things to focus on. If you focus on the future, what you need to do now becomes clear. As soon as you start thinking of things to change, you step into the realm of dreams.
Probably 90% of the songs I listen to are songs that make you get out of bed ready for the day, songs that fill you up with positive energy. Consider the differences between these two songs.
Please understand that I understand about 1-5% of daddy yankees song. Not so surprisingly though, there is way more energy for me to absorb from that song. Don’t get me wrong, “Fix you” is a good song, but it works against a positive state of mind, which is required if you want to lead, even more so if you want to inspire.
So, shower yourself in gold. Find things that give you energy and review the things that don’t. Even if you think that they aren’t working against you. If they don’t add, they subtract. It’s as simple as that. Even Bruce Lee said: “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own”. Do it over and over again until you don’t know you are doing it anymore!
Conclusion
So just to recap, know your strengths and weaknesses. Make use of them and give the people something to remember you by. Realize that there is no spoon, meaning no problem is impossible. Reprogram your mind for success and make use of every moment by seeing the moments as opportunities to add to the brand that is you.
There is a whole lot more to learn and much more to cover. Things like how to make sure people listen to you at your keynote presentation, how to be authentic, how to use your voice, etc. However, that is a tale for another day to tell.
I hope you got something out of this. Please comment if you concur or don’t. Both good and bad feedback is appreciated. Every bit of feedback is appreciated. Even this is an opportunity, a step towards enlightenment!
Cheers!